Talking money with a partner can feel awkward, but avoiding it often causes bigger problems later. Strong couples do not avoid finance; they make it less scary and more routine. In just 10 minutes, you can kick off alignment around one of your shared dreams: saving for your child’s future.
Below is a simple conversation plan, plus phrases to use (and to avoid), to help you both move forward without defensiveness. At the end: a gentle nudge to open a UNest UTMA and start contributing together.
The 10-Minute Conversation Plan: Outline & Tips
- 0:00–1:00 | Set tone & intention: “Hey, can we take 10 minutes to talk about how we want to handle savings for the baby? I don’t want this to be heavy, just to get us on the same page.”
Goal: Frame the talk as collaborative, short, and not blame. - 1:00–2:30 | Share money stories / attitudes: “Growing up, my parents saved, spent, or avoided talking about money. That shaped me to feel ___.” Ask your partner: “What about you?”
Goal: Understand each other’s background without judgment. - 2:30–4:00 | Vision & priorities: “What do we want for the child in 5, 10, or 18 years? Education? Travel? A safety net?”
Goal: Create shared goals. - 4:00–5:30 | Current state (assets / debts): “Here’s what we have now in savings and investments. Are there liabilities I should know about?”
Goal: Transparency and no surprises later. - 5:30–7:00 | Decide roles & mechanics: “Who will contribute? How often? Where do we hold it? Do we set up automatic transfers?”
Goal: Make the plan concrete. - 7:00–8:30 | Address concerns / objections: “What worries you about doing this?” Listen. “I hear you. Let’s figure out a guardrail we both feel safe with.”
Goal: Diffuse resistance and validate feelings. - 8:30–10:00 | Commit & next steps: “Let’s each commit $X per month, or begin with a small amount. I’ll open the UTMA. We’ll check in in three months to adjust.”
Goal: Agreement and accountability.
Tips to make it smoother:
- Pick a relaxed time without tension or distractions.
- Use “we” language instead of “you” or “me.”
- If the talk gets heated, pause and come back later.
- Be okay with starting small. Momentum matters more than perfection.
- Set a recurring “money check-in” so it becomes routine.
“Say this. Don’t say that.” — Softening language
- Say this: “I want us to align on this together.”
Don’t say: “You need to do this my way.” - Say this: “What worries you about contributing more?”
Don’t say: “Why are you reluctant to save more?” - Say this: “Let’s start small so it doesn’t feel overwhelming.”
Don’t say: “We should dump all extra money into this at once.” - Say this: “I hear your concern about liquidity. Maybe we do a buffer fund too.”
Don’t say: “You’re being unrealistic or too conservative.” - Say this: “I’m open to your ideas and adjustments.”
Don’t say: “We’re doing it this way, end of story.” - Say this: “We can revisit this and make changes.”
Don’t say: “This is permanent, no revisiting.”
Avoid framing disagreements as conflict. Treat them as discovery: “Help me understand your view.”
Why use a UTMA for child savings
A UTMA (Uniform Transfers to Minors Act) account is a custodial account that lets you contribute money or assets for a minor until they reach the age of majority in your state. Unlike some education-only accounts, funds in a UTMA can be used broadly for anything benefiting the child.
Starting a UNest UTMA is a practical way to centralize child savings, automate contributions, and keep things transparent.
Try it tonight
If you try this 10-minute plan tonight, you may be surprised at how much clarity you gain and how much less anxiety future decisions bring.
If you are ready to act: Open a UNest UTMA and commit just $10–$25 per week (or whatever fits your budget). Automating the contributions removes friction, and over time that consistency builds something meaningful for your child’s future.
